Day 14532

OMG! Where did the days go? Seems lately that I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off! Unfortunately, I will be keeping up this pace for a few more days until the move is final. Then we (How cool is it that "we" means 1-2 adults plus 2-3 youngin's?!?) will be heading out to do a little camping/relaxing/fishing/reading. Ahhh...a nice thought, even now, as I stare at a pile of dishes. Anyway, enough of this.

So, yesterday at work a co-worker and myself were having a discussion about strange but supposedly true burglary stories. This is perfectly normal conversation when things are slow. So, apparently things were slow...and I thought you might like to hear some of them.

One started when a couple got up one Sunday morning to find a note on their door that said, "Sorry for leaving our truck in front of your home, but it broke down and will not start. We will be back on Monday to have it towed away. For your trouble, please accept these tickets as we will no longer be able to attend." There were 4 tickets to a San Diego Chargers football game that day in the note.

The lucky couple called some friends and took them to the game that afternoon. When they returned 4-5 hours later, the "broken" truck was gone, along with most of their possessions from the house!

Another story involved the help of a neighbor! Seems a high school-aged boy was walking by as a thief was stealing valuables from a house and loading them into a U-Haul truck. Well, the boy was short on funds so he offered to help the gentleman pack his moving truck in exchange for some quick cash. Unfortunately, he was not able to ID the guy who was robbing the home, but he did make $20!

Today, we were also slow at work, but we didn't discuss any burglaries. However, I'd hate to short you a story, so here goes...

This is from Sioux lore, I think. Apologies to those who know it, as I'm sure my telling will have some holes in it.

"Ahem. Without notes."

After Screaching Hawk had just eaten breakfast, he went to visit his friend, Fast Elk. When he got to Fast Elk's fire, he noticed that his friend looked quite upset.

"What is it that disturbs you, my friend?"

Fast Elk looked up at Screaching Hawk and said, "I had a terrible dream last night and I cannot get it out of my mind."

"Tell me about this dream. Maybe it isn't so bad." Screaching Hawk replied.

"OK. Last night I dreamt that I was walking on the trail along the river and heard some splashes that seemed out of place. Not sure who or what was making them, I crouched down behind a big rock along the side of the trail and looked over it to see what was causing the commotion. In the light of the moon I saw the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on standing in the water."

Screaching Hawk interupted and said, "Friend, that doesn't sound so bad."

Fast Elk continued, "As I watched her, it was apparrent that she was naked and taking a bath."

Again, Screaching Hawk interupted and said, "Kola, this doesn't seem like a bad dream to me."

Fast Elk continued, saying, "I could see her straight, wet hair between her shoulder blades and the moon's envious glare off her firm, full breasts."

"This is certainly not a bad dream!", said Screaching Hawk.

"As I watched her, I noticed an intense sensation between my legs as my penis began to grow increasingly longer. Soon it was outside of my loin cloth and on the ground slithering like a snake around the big rock, across the trail, and racing toward the river's edge. Within moments my penis found her legs and went up between them."

"Fast Elk, my friend, this is certainly a good dream!"

"I entered her warmness and began moving in and out of her, as she arched her back and moaned."

"Again, I tell you, friend, this is a very good dream!"

"I was enjoying myself like no other time in my life, when she looks over her shoulder and gazes into my eyes."

"Fast Elk, this is the best dream I have ever heard!"

"Just then, her eyes darted to her left, spotting the white man's horse and buggy racing along the trail towards the rock!"

That's it. Good night, folks!