Day 14486

I meant to write something completely different tonight, but after a few moments of spontaneous dozing and realizing that too many of those close to me were dealt a significant blow recently, I decided something light was in order. Tomorrow, expect the opposite.

So, without further delay, another meme. This one I siphoned from the the gas tank of the incredibly funny Jason, who, rumor has it, sold his beautiful but stressed wife's soul to Cherry for it!

PERSONAL

1. Nervous habits?
I chew the tough skin around my nails. Thanks, mom.
2. Are you double jointed?
Not without some painful side-effects.
3. Can you roll your tongue?
Like this?
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time?
Of course I can! I regularly use this skill while interviewing perspective job applicants!
5. Can you blow spit bubbles?
Out of my nose? Why yes! It's an extremely useful skill to assist one in picking up women in bars.
6. Can you cross your eyes?
Who told you? Oh, my mistake...I thought it said "cross-dress".
7. Tattoos?
Yes. Scar/tattoo - it's all the same to me.
8. Piercings?
No. Not plural.
9. Do you make your bed daily?
Not since junior high, when the hormones were a-raging.

CLOTHES

10. Which shoe goes on first?
The first one I see through my sleepy, crusty eyes.
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone?
Yes. It was a dark and stormy night, er, morning, and I used a combat boot accurately aimed at some foolish Staff Sargeant, who thought he should rouse me from my slumber after I had just worked a mid shift at Osan AB, ROK. I pretended to not know what I had done.
12. On the average, how much money do you carry?
I always try to have at least 4 pennies in my pocket and a Canadian quarter, just in case.
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7?
Just my lucky cock ring.
14. Favorite piece of clothing?
Birthday suit.

FOOD

15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
I don't know about twirl...maybe spin it a little.
16. Have you ever eaten Spam?
Well, I will admit to having had it in my mouth, but I swear I did not swallow!
17. Do you use extra salt on your food?
Nope. Salt is the root of all evil.
18. How many cereals in your cabinet?
None. I finished off the granola with cranberries earlier tonight.
19. What's your favorite beverage?
Rogue Brewery's Hazelnut Brown. Remember that come Christmas time!
20. What's your favorite fast food restaurant?
That awesome Hawaiian BBQ in Pasadena, CA. Don't remember it's name.
21. Do you cook?
Only in small batches, then, when I sense that the fuzz might be getting suspicious, I move onto another meth lab, er, apartment.

GROOMING

22. How often do you brush your teeth?
Up and down or side to side?
23. Hair drying method?
I shave down there, so not an issue.
24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair?
Only inadvertantly. I was actually using the magic marker to indicate inches.

MANNERS

25. Do you swear?
Not on my life, just yours.
26. Do you ever spit?
Actually, I swallow. Wait. No. It was only in my mouth! See #16 above.

FAVORITE

27. Animal?
None. Everything tastes like kitten to me.
28. Food?
Whatcha got?
29. Month?
August. I feel sorry for it `cause it has no holidays.
30. Day?
Saturday.
31. Cartoon?
Family Guy. No contest.
32. Shoe brand?
None. The hot iron tends to burn my feet.
33. Subject in school?
When the class first started, I thought it would be Sex Ed. It wasn't what I thought.
34. Color?
Green, like M & M's, `cause, you know, I'm a perv.
35. Sport?
Baseball. See #34 above.
36. TV shows?
Anything with exposed nipples.
37. Thing to do in the spring?
Fish.
38. Thing to do in the summer?
Fish and expose nipples.
39. Thing to do in the autumn?
Fish and expose perkier nipples.
40. Thing to do in the winter?
Sleep, dreaming about exposed nipples.

IN AND AROUND

41. In the CD player?
Heatmiser - "Mic City Sons".
42. Person you talk most on the phone with?
(916)-767-8900
43. Reading?
Palms.
44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows/mirrors?
Just the mirrors. They're 2-way you know. I just know someone is on the other side, so I like to try to disgust them as much as I can.
45. What color is your bedroom?
Under a black light, it glows. I don't know what that means.
46. Do you use an alarm clock?
Use and abuse.
47. Window seat or aisle?
Window seat. I like to look for ants.

DUMB

48. What's your sleeping position?
Fetal, whimpering.
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket?
Just a sheet. I'm modest if nothing else...(naked).
50. Do you snore?
Yes, when I am drunk or very tired.
51. Do you sleepwalk?
I don't even exercise when I'm awake. Do you really think I'll do it while I'm sleeping? Dumbass!
52. Do you talk in your sleep?
I recite the speech Tom Cruise gave me, when he managed to recruit me to the dark side.
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
Well, you gotta remove some of the stuffing first, but...What was the question?
54. How about with the light on?
I make shadow puppets.
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on?
Yes.
56. Last interesting person you met?
The Boognish. Don't fear. Mr. Cruise had warned me about him.