Day 14284

I've done this before. I shouldn't be doing it again. Tough. It's only desparate sleep I need, but for now will ignore. Here goes...

Several of my friends and family have had run-ins with the law. Charges included anything from possession of assorted chemical substances to sexual assault. Yes, you can assume correctly that that last one technically means rape.

Anyone still reading this? Seriously. One of my greatest fears is to be held guilty by association. Is it "like attracts like" or "opposites attract"? Honestly, when it comes to friends, I believe in the "like attracts like" theory. Now, I'm wondering if you are wondering what my legal record looks like? "Is he a rapist?" "How could he hang around rapists." Yes, you read that correctly as well. Plural. Actually, three of them. Please continue reading and with an open mind, as I know this is one of those subjects that can quickly get out of hand. Again, please.

I have three friends who have been convicted of some form of sexual assault. I'm not trying to pretty this up, that is the official charge. All three crimes occurred in Oregon. One was charged with 3 counts of misdemeanor sexual assault in the form of inappropriate sexual contact. The other two were charged with statuatory rape. All three have served their time and completed classes to better prepare them for handling themselves with members of the opposite sex. All three are really good guys and two of them are married with children.

One of the statuatory rapists was arrested at age 18 after his girlfriend, age 17, delivered their baby. He was turned in by the doctor, who waited until both parents had signed the birth certificate. They were engaged at the time. The resulting turmoil was too much for the young couple. They never married. He has since married someone else. Unfortunately, he doesn't do a good job of pretending not to miss his former fiance.

The other statuatory rapist slept with his children's baby sitter. It was consensual and the victim did not wish to press charges, but her father had another idea. She was 17 at the time. To his credit, this friend was the first of the three to acknowledge he had done wrong. First to admit he had treated women poorly in the past. And was the first of the three to take his classes seriously. I think he was immature at the time of the crime, wanting immediate satisfaction. I also think he has grown up. He is a good, formerly divorced man, who has since remarried.

The third friend, the one with the 3 misdemeanor sexual assault charges, had a little more complicated situation.

First, some background. In Oregon, if the girl has a drink of alcohol and then sleeps with a guy, whether he drinks or not, the guy is guilty of rape. Period. If the guy has a drink and the girl doesn't, the girl is guilty of rape. Prison time typically is 7 years per guilty felony charge. I understand the spirit of the law and think it is commendable. I think it probably is the strictest rape law in the country. In college orientations, the law is discussed and explained. Most guys and some girls generally think it is unfairly written. Doesn't matter, it's the law.

OK, I can SO lose the respect of you readers here, but please refrain from rushing to judgement. So, this 3rd friend's victim was someone I knew. Further, I knew she had been molested by her father when she was in 6th grade. I also knew that this was the 3rd time she had accused someone of raping her. Think about it, that was a very unlucky, twenty-something girl. The first 2 occurrences lead to charges being dropped. In fact, after the 2nd occurrence, she admitted to lieing about the whole ordeal. This was all inadmissable in court. Anyway, I felt she was bad news. I also think that if I hadn't left the bar early that night, my friend would never had been accused of rape, because I wouldn't have let him get anywhere near her.

Well, I left. He also left a while later, but with her. They went to a friend's house to party and slept together. The victim's friend (a girl) later gave a statement that the victim calmly ate breakfast the next morning and then suddenly got up and announced that she had to go to the hospital because she had been raped. My friend says it was consensual.

Because at the time there were 6 felony charges against him (that's potentially 42 years people), he followed his lawyer's advice and cut a deal to plead guilty to 3 misdemeanor charges. The charges state that he inappropriately touched her twice on the butt and once on the breast. Not to make light of this situation and sound like a jerk, but in all honesty, it sounds like a typical night in a dance club to me. Not that I behave that way, but I've seen it. Once in a while it will be followed by a slap. He got time served and 3 years probation.

Anyway, this extremely long post came about because I had dinner with another friend tonight, who had done some time for dealing drugs. Years ago, his life was nothing but a spinning vortex of crap. He was going nowhere. Today, he is one semester away from his Masters in Psychology. He has come so far. I am proud of him and proud to call him my friend.

Finally, for the curious, I have been arrested for trespassing out at Tonapah Range in Nevada, while protesting "nukular" weapons testing. I have nothing else on my record. I have never been accused of any sexual misconduct. I guess it's "like attracts like*".

* = Sometimes