Day 14309

I unlocked Eric's door and sat down to eat some fast food while I watched TV. He had no idea that I would be coming up that weekend. After I finished eating, I straightened up his living room to get ready for the weekend's recording. I was so excited to share the then "new" Eels cd, Souljacker, with him. I just knew Eric was going to be stunned at the similarities to the stuff we were recording! "This was going to be a great weekend!", I thought.

I couldn't really contain my excitement and almost made the 20 mile drive north of town to pick him up from work. I decided not to, as I thought that by the time I arrived, he probably would have just left. So I waited. And I waited. Then, I waited some more. I was getting tired and figured he must have asked to be dropped off at Sean's instead of coming home. Well, I figured I just couldn't stay awake anymore, anyhow, so I left for Russ' place to crash.

The next morning, I again went to Eric's place, expecting to see him there. Well, either that or I figured he might still be at Sean's. The door was wide open when I got there and Sean, Andy, and Mike (Brother Rod) were glassy-eyed and obviously surprised to see me. There was a long silence. I cleaned out the fridge, throwing away food that was about to expire or already had.

The title Portrait of Contemporary Waste is not of my mind, but the title of a song written by Eric A. Skerbeck before he was killed by a drunk driver. The accident occurred 3 years ago to the day. I haven't recorded a thing since, and our masters are still in storage. I've tried to mix the songs we did, but I keep breaking down. I feel guilty that I haven't put the finishing touches on these recordings and think I owe him something, so here are the lyrics to the song...

Portrait of Contemporary Waste

Timed out, sync, and I'm goin' insane
I don't wanna go where they're goin'
Timed out, sync, and I'm goin' insane
I don't wanna go where they're goin'

`Cause I'm a portrait of a contemporary waste of a man
Ain't that proud of who I am
Of constituents, literally, I have few
No one ever said, "Hey, I voted for you."
But that's OK `cause I'm cold and wet
Thoughtless and godless and completely inept

Timed out, sync, and I'm goin' insane
I don't wanna go where they're goin'
Timed out, sync, and I'm goin' insane
I don't wanna go where they're goin'

I got a carnival queen sittin' next to me
The fungus I ate is makin' her gleam
And some motherfu**er on the other side
Took a bite out of my brain `n swallowed my pride
So I had to ask him how it tasted
A bite out of a life I've completely wasted

Timed out, sync, and I'm goin' insane...

And it's harder to speak than it is to smoke
So I light up some words that someone else spoke
I guess I got out early `cause I blew the jailer
The girl I like is straight out the trailer

Timed out, sync, and I'm goin' insane
I don't wanna go where they're goin'
Timed out, sync, and I'm goin' insane
I don't wanna go where they're goin'
Timed out, sync, and I'm goin' insane
I don't wanna go where they're goin'
Insane, I'm synced, and I'm goin' insane
I don't wanna go where they're goin'
Insane

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Rest in peace, Brother Claude. I miss you.

Todd F. Gaäd