Day 14317
I wrote this earlier this evening, but just didn't feel brave enough to post it. Since then, I read The Mental Pukings of a Pop Culture Junkie and changed my mind.
Late last night, while I was looking for a new avatar to wear while visiting Radio Paradise, I ran across a photo of a couple kissing. I couldn't help but notice that the young man was kissing her upper lip, and she his lower lip. A sad realization came over me that it has been so long since I've kissed someone full on the lips that I do not know which lip I prefer. I think it is the lower one, because it's my favorite lip to look at. (Yes, I have a favorite!)
That's as much as I had written. It bummed me out. Actually, it really bothered me. I can't blame fate for my...drought, and I certainly don't believe there is some sort of conspiracy or anything like that. Instead I suffer from something much worse, a self-imposed lack of closure. S#!% or get off the pot, right?
I've hinted at the reason a couple of times on this blog, but here it is. I have never told this lady how I really felt about her and that I haven't been able to let go. I have almost everything I need in order to tell her how I feel. Almost. Reminds me of the lion stuck in Oz.
This has really harmed my recent relationships in that they had no potential to go anywhere, yet I wasn't honest with myself or others about that fact. This is well past the point of becoming a serious problem and needs to be fixed, quick.
Well, enough for now. I've stayed up far too late...gotta get some sleep.
posted by Yibbyl @ 11:53 PM
1 Comments:
Just read this... and I have to tell you that I know what you're going through. About a year and a half ago, I went through something similar.
I made the decision to write him a letter. We were no longer living in the same city, so I found it was the best way for me to get my feelings out and do it in my own time. Once he had received it, and had time to digest it, he called. We talked about it, and we both managed to get closure. We're able to be friends now because of it, and I've been able to move on because of that. I can only hope that you are able to find a way to do this for yourself as well.
Oh, and I prefer the bottom lip. A nice full bottom lip.
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