Day 14398
Good cry vs. bad cry... I was chatting with Michelle last night and decided crying would be my focus tonight. Just for the record, I think all crying is inherrently good, some just more than others. But for clarification's sake, we'll call crying over a painful/upsetting situation bad...crying over something joyous is a good thing.
So, she told me that she had watched Extreme Makeover: Home Edition earlier in the evening. If you haven't seen the show, a family, who has gone through some hardship/turmoil, is selected from nominations (usually by neighbors, friends, or relatives) and they are sent away while a team re-builds their house! It's a rollercoaster of emotions. I like it because it frequently gives me a good cry.
I enjoy good cries, as long as I'm alone. Can't enjoy it when others are around. It's the testosterone in me, I guess. I know a few ladies who seem to enjoy crying as well, but have never met a guy who would admit it. Must remain strong. Must provide security. Must ensure my DNA is passed on. Whatever.
Certain things bring out the tears with amazing consistency. One of them is U2's Trip Through Your Wires. This song has no special meaning to me. No long lost love who appreciated the song. No breakup occurring with this playing in the background. It just has that effect on me. I don't have a copy of this song on cd, only vinyl, so I rarely ever hear it. I think that adds to the effect. I mean if I heard it regularly, I would probably start associating it with something else. Soon it wouldn't make me cry and I don't want that. I'd rather feel something that lets me know I'm alive.
Bad cries will make a person feel alive as well, though I wouldn't wish it on anybody. I'd prefer not to have to have one ever again myself. That's just not likely, though. In the end though, even a bad cry at least hastens closure. That's why I think even bad cries are good.
The best cries though are the ones where you were laughing so hard that tears began to form. Can never go wrong with those tears! Last time I remember one of those cries, I was out with friends and we hadn't slept in far too long. Everything seemed funny, so when we actually hit on something that really was funny, the tears came a-chargin'! Great night! Need another like it, soon.
OK, I need as much sleep as I can get, and this isn't sleeping...Have a good night!
posted by Yibbyl @ 11:04 PM
6 Comments:
I enjoy a good cathartic cry as well, but like you, need to do it alone. It's rare that I cry in front of other people, unless it's that last kind of cry you mentioned, the laughing-so-hard-the-tears-start-falling kind of cry. Laughter is so very important to who I am and my interactions with people that the laughing until I cry thing happens enough that I smile just thinking about it.
Music has a way of moving me to tears like no other medium does. A television show or a movie is always still a television show or a movie in the back of my mind. It's rare that I get so lost in them that I cry from them. Music though, music finds it's way into my heart and soul and I've found songs that have no particular significance to me moving me to tears.
But those other kinds of cries... though they don't necessarily feel good while they're happening, they do serve their purpose. A couple of minutes after the tears cease, the healing often begins.
Here's another member of the testosterone brigade who cries, and enjoys it.
And like you, I prefer to be alone when I do.
Eight years ago hobbitt and I were at his sister's summer luau, and his brother was there - ill with colon cancer, knowing he wasn't going to last the rest of the year. Lisa's husband was totally trashed and doing his fire dance - a yearly event at this party, and a hoot. The music selection was particularly ridiculous and we were all pissing our pants laughing. I looked over at Kevin and saw his shoulders shaking with laughter too. The poignancy of the moment took me by surprise and I began weeping the kind of cleansing tears that only come from the unprotected moments like that.
I wish I could order up moments like that for my own health. Alas.
Crying is good, but easier to do alone.
I do love when I laugh so hard that I cry.
Thanks for writing this, Yibbyl.
bhd, that is one special memory. I like to remember the times Eric & I fell into fits of laughter in the recording studio. It's not a conscious decision to choose those memories, they just happen. I'm fortunate that we were able to share many of those before he passed away.
*sniff*
It was a bad day for tears for me.
:(
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