Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Day 14232

OK, what do you say to an update on my ant situation? First, let me tell you about karma. I guess the idea behind karma is that people get what they deserve. Good people get good things and bad things happen to bad people. Now let's talk about irony. I'd say irony has to do with unexpected results or a contrast between what's a normal outcome and its possible opposite result. Keeping these thoughts in mind...

I woke up this morning to what easily was a 10-fold increase in my bathroom ant population! I think they understood the concepts of irony and karma. One of them even gave me the finger, or maybe he just jestured with his antennae. Either way, he knew! The rest of the ants seemed most interested in the overflow hole in the sink. They were marching in and out of there non-stop. I feel I might be getting what I deserve after the insensitivity I've displayed over the last 36 hours.

The hell with it though. Tonight, I brought out the bleach. Yep, I escallated the situation by introducing the use of chemical weapons. Just to be clear, these have nothing to do with the WMD's Bush had been looking for in Iraq. Anyway, I hate the odor of bleach. It makes my nose run. However, I did not sway in my all out war against these tiny little evildoers. Even though I know it may be bad karma and my nose might run, I am not opposed to embracing this level of possible martyrdom.

Then a week or two from now, I can start the war all over again. I mentioned that the queen ant is a little promiscuous, right? What would her mother think?!? And the queen's father, oh the poor soul, knowing that there basicly is one ant after another lining up for his daughter. I feel for that poor SOB. Anyway, I stray. My point is that it will be a neverending job. A war that someone with common sense would say just can't be won. Sound familiar?

Try not to think about it. Just say a prayer and try to get some sleep.

Monday, November 29, 2004

Day 14231

I swear I can hear Marvin Gaye's song Let's Get It On coming from above me as I type this. Yet, I do not have any upstairs neighbors, at least in the traditional sense. Instead, I have a colony of tiny ants, headed by some bitch of a queen, who does nothing but eat and turn tricks. The colony moves indoors every fall when the weather turns damp. I hate them.

This morning after my quite chilly little walk, I commenced my usual morning routine. When I got to the toothbrushing part, I got a little surprise. There was a tiny ant hiding in the bristles of my toothbrush. He escaped from my mouth while I was brushing my um... What the hell do you call the teeth between the canines? Those teeth. I think the floride killed him. Sorry PETA members, but I celebrated it by spitting at him in the sink! Wait. That's a lie. I'm not sorry.

According to my neighbor, these ants are part of the largest geographical colony of related animals in the world. Apparently, the southern tip of the colony is in the Yucatan Penninsula and the northernmost part reaches Redding, CA. The frequent travel and relocation of people up and down I-5 aided their expansion northward. When the warm weather comes again, they will leave the warm, dry confines of my attic and head back outside to greet their cousins, brag about their encounters with the queen, and gather tiny bits of food.

So, each summer, I help them out with that last part, the food gathering. I didn't want any insecticides in the yard as I am usually barefooted out there, so I decided to kill them with kindness. I leave piles of Malt-O-Meal for them. The idea is that they eat the Malt-O-Meal, which reacts with the teensy bit of moisture in their tummies and then they slowly explode! I imagine it looks like the scene from Aliens when the baby is "born". It must be pure agony. Heehee! (Bring it on, all you PETA-types!) Anyway, it works.

I need to start doing this indoors as well, as the spiders I let hang out here just don't seem to keep up. I'm really careful about not leaving food out since I left ND years ago and relocated to warmer, roach-infested climes. Still, they search the house for goodies. Usually, they end up in the bathroom, I think for the water. Anyway, I'm going to put some of this cereal in the attic and see if I incorporate their screams into my dreams!

Speaking of dreams, I'm gonna accept the fact that this football game is boring and crawl into bed and read until I fall asleep. Best wishes to all of you! Even you ant-lovers.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Day 14230

Well, this morning I arose full of excitement as I was supposed to have cable installed so that I could access the `net superspeedy-like! Not. Turns out the cable in the ground had been cut at some point in time and so now I wait. Boy, do I have to wait. They're telling me 7 weeks to get: the utilities mapped out by 3 different companies, another person to do the digging, yet another to put the cable in, and then a completely different person has to come out with the cable modem and hook it up to the `puter. So, of course, I only have 1 month of internet access left until my current service contract runs out. I overlapped on purpose just in case there would be a delay. So, for 3 weeks, I will be unable to get online, unless I use one of those stupid AOL trial discs. Lame!

So, today, when the cable installer was here, I got to witness some work, no moon (thank Gaäd), and received an interesting lecture about why politicians have no business deciding the rules in which a business should operate. He never explained who should decide, but I'm sure that was just oversight.

His beef with politicians was that, at least on the state level, they were paid $125 per day to cover the expense of eating. I haven't verified that number, but if it is accurate, they eat some very good food. Also, since they were given vehicles to drive, they were able to put "their whole paycheck into savings". Wow! That's one wide brush he was using. No wonder I thought he was talking out his ass (all the while leaning up against a wall). He spoke some more, but by then all I could think about was that he was most likely getting paid more moola per hour than I make and actually getting paid to lecture me while reducing the effects of gravity on his body by leaning against a wall.

I became fixated on the act of him leaning. I had to know how long it would last. I also wanted to know if he was a member of a union. The lecture went on and on for about 15 minutes. I'm sure he thought he was being personable. I thought he was lazy. I asked him if he ever wanted to run for election. He said, "No". He was divorced and only "family men" get elected. I thought to myself he actually may be on to something with that claim.

Whoa! When did the topic change? He was on a rant now about how terrible it was to be a divorced male in CA. Seems, the state wants access to his paycheck BEFORE he pays his bills, so that they can get the appropriate amount of cash to his 2 children. According to this guy, in a "normal household", children get money for food, clothing, and toys after all the other bills had been paid. My parents are divorced. Before the divorce (when we were "normal"), I ate food even when some other bills hadn't been paid! But my parents were daredevils! He paused, then told me that his kids weren't getting a cent and that the money really was going to his wife for her clothes and entertainment. "My Gaäd!", I thought. Do these kids even know they are anorexic?

He was still leaning against the wall. How could he pay his child support when he didn't work? It was a mystery to me. I quickly asked him about the cable modem as soon as he took a breath. He looked down at it and got away from the wall. Elapsed time = 25 minutes!

He then started to work and talk at the same time - a sure sign of significant talent! He mentioned how he wanted to get out of the installation business and do something else with his life. Something that offered fewer hours than the 15 hours per day / 7 days a week he was enduring now. I'll be hiring an individual in our West Sacramento location in about a week or two. We could use someone like this guy. He's able to multi-task, he's personable, and he can do a job in a fraction of the time he writes on his job sheet. I kept quiet. He left 1 hour after he had arrived, unable to complete his job, and unknown to him, without a lead or offer of another career. Too bad for him, our company has terrific benefits.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Day 14229

Well, I'm heavier today than I was just a couple of days before. I had a terrific Thanksfornothing meal with a family in Paradise, CA that I treasure as my own. We ate well and had generally a relaxing time, diggin' that tryptophan. Finished the day off by watching The Terminal, a movie staring Tom Hanks. We had heard mixed reviews, which puzzled us as it was a good flick. But whatever. Since when do critics actually get it right anyway?!?

Late in the evening, I headed back to the Excremental, CA area. I dealt with about 35 miles of dense fog, with about 1/8th mile VSBY. The drive took longer, but it went safely. Got behind about 4 cars and watched their taillights along with the fog line.

So, as I said, I am heavier. I'm not happy with my weight, so some of it will have to come off. My back just can't take it anymore. I've been getting frequent spasms, which I know are related to a pinched nerve, but still the extra pounds I'm carrying aren't helping matters any. In about 2 months, things should settle down in my district enough to allow me to have the back checked out. I really hope I don't need surgery, but instead just have to do some physical therapy.

Anyway, so tomorrow I will start taking regular morning walks. Get out and see the neighborhood, meet some neighbors I haven't chatted with yet, and scoff at the dogs who will surely bark at me. It will be nice and probably a good stress reliever, as well. I really have missed not going hiking and fishing this past summer, so maybe this will get me back into having some fun that doubles as exercise. Then, come spring, I can get back to my normal warm weather activities of exploring and getting wet.

In addition, I will eliminate my consumption of ice cream. This is a big deal, as I could be classified as an ice cream addict! Rarely an evening goes by that I don't eat some. I even own an ice cream maker. These are evil contraptions that allow a person to concoct the real deal. No imitation flovorings or fat-free substitues. We're talking real milk, real sugar, and pure Mexican vanilla extract, let alone the junk I'd add to those ingredients! Sometimes, it would be whatever seasonal fruit was ripe. Other times, crushed cookies, caramel, chocolate chips, etc. Like I said, pure evil! I want to substitute fresh fruit for snacks, but during the winter months, there just isn't that much fruit that excites me. Who knows though, maybe I'll get lucky and have access to some good pears.

Whelp, the day is done. Fork a stick in me.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Day 14225

(So, this was written late at night and it appears that I did not post this. ~Oops! Or not.)

I'm dealing with a little bit of self-pity today. OK, actually, a lot of self-pity. I don't like feeling this way and I surely don't want to bore anyone with the details. So, long story, nonexistent...

Good night. Maybe we all will feel better tomorrow.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Day 14224

So, the gameplan has been to make every day count. Today's value is surely debatable. I guess I will need to decide if I plan on writing daily, which I'm positive will be impossible because of frequent travel, or not. So not it is!

Well, with that settled and me yawning... Let's just say, today was insignificant except I cleaned up a store so another person wouldn't have to. I'm sure he appreciated it. That's it. An insignificant day except for an act of kindness. Maybe that's enough. It's certainly better than ruining someone's day by saying something you can't take back. OK. It's agreed. Today is done. And done sufficiently.

Rest well, all who stumble upon this site!

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Day 14223

Ah, Sundays! Gotta love them. So, this morning after I glanced at the clock upon waking up, I went back to sleep. All seemed right in my world. I spent some quality time with my comforter in my nice, warm bed, then finally got up.

When I finally crawled out of bed and took a shower, I really wasn't too aware of my surroundings. I sat down to watch some football and next thing I know, I'm feeling a need for some socks. Yep, I had cold feet!

I have one of those thermostats that changes temperature throughout the day. Seems when I am away during the day my place stays at a cool 66 degrees F. That's fine if I'm not home, but today was Sunday. Where was I going to be, church? I need a thermostat that can be set based on the day of the week as well. So, in an effort to help any and all HVAC salesmen, I will gladly take an adjustable thermostat as described above for field testing purposes. Rest assured that I will happily spend some time evaluating the effectiveness of said unit and will file a comprehensive 1-paragraph report on its attributes. You may leave your contact information in a comment to this blog, which I will then use to send you my shipping address. Thank you.

Now with that taken care of, let me document the rest of my day. I read. Then I read some more from on-line sources. Eventually, I responded to some of those on-line posts. I followed this up by cooking and eating pork chops with a light sprinkle of soul seasoning, couscous flavored with garlic and freshly roasted-in-the-shell almonds (Thank you, Kev), and for my desert/beverage, a tasty Samuel Smith Oatmeal Stout. I'm finishing it now and it is quite good, but it is no Rogue Shakespeare Stout. I will finish this blog and read some more before going to bed. Gaäd, I need to find me a woman! That reminds me, female HVAC salespeople should respond to me in a comment as well.


Saturday, November 20, 2004

Day 14222

Our days on earth are numbered. Hopefully, we make them count. Today I...
  1. Got good news at work: one of the locations I'm in charge of found a terrific new hire.
  2. Didn't go up to an attractive lady at the grocery store and say "Hi!".
  3. Ate too much pumpkin pie with even more whipped cream.
  4. Started reading Natural Cures "They" Don't Want You To Know About.
  5. Started this blog.
  6. Fondly remembered Cristina from back around Day 12298.
  7. Decided to go to bed early for a change.
I wonder if this day counted?